Much of what was said about competition games can be transferred to validation games. You may have encountered people who walk around in a city mumbling to themselves or perhaps even screaming profanities, obviously being mentally disturbed or even possessed. Some selves can be compared to such a person, as they go through life constantly mumbling: “Validate me, validate me!”
There are many people for whom their entire lives are a quest for validation. They go into a situation subconsciously saying: “Validate me,” and when they don’t get the validation they seek, they move on to another situation. Of course, they never get the validation they seek because as long as you are asking someone outside yourself to validate you, how could you ever feel validated?
What is the key to feeling validated? Take Jesus’ saying that unless you become as a little child, you shall not enter the kingdom. The meaning is that you return to the state of innocence with which you were first created.
You were created without a vision of your higher self but with a sense of connection to it. If you choose to expand that connection, you will feel increasingly validated. Or perhaps we can say that validation never becomes an issue for you. Why would you need to be validated when you are constantly feeling the unconditional love from your higher self?
Validation is a need of a separate self. You start out with a self that is not in complete oneness, but it has a connection to oneness. As long as you continue to expand that connection, you know and experience that you are loved and accepted for who you are. Not in the sense that you are perfect, but in the sense that you are in the process of growing and that you are accepted and loved for who you were created to be. You are loved for who you are, not for what you have or do.
Once you step into a separate self, an entirely new outlook on life is born, and it is a deficit approach. A separate self senses that it is not good enough for who it is—and it is entirely correct. A separate self cannot take the ultimate consequence of this because it would lead to its own destruction.
The conscious self does not need to be validated, it simply needs to become conscious of who or what it is. A separate self does feel a need for validation and it can survive only by getting the conscious self to think that it has to play the validation game by seeking some form of ultimate validation in this world. Of course, a separate self can never come to feel validated so you are on an impossible quest that will continue until you see this and decide to simply walk away from it.
The impossible quest
No matter how much validation you could possible get on earth, it would still leave you feeling empty. This is illustrated by an old fairy tale about a poor fisherman living with his ambitious wife in a mud hut. One day the fisherman catches a large flounder who promises him that if he will let it go, he will be granted three wishes.
When he comes home to his wife, he has to explain why he has no fish for dinner, and after hearing about the wishes, she first wishes that she had a big wonderful house with many servants. To their surprise, the wish is granted.
After having lived in this house for a while, the wife begins to feel empty. She then commands her husband to go back to the flounder with her next wish, namely that she be made queen. When the fisherman returns home, he finds a royal castle with his wife on the throne.
The wife has now received the ultimate validation she could possibly achieve on earth. There simply is no way to go higher on earth, yet after a while she again feels that this is not enough. She then commands her husband to go back to the flounder with her third wish, and this time she wants to be God. When the fisherman returns home, he finds his wife sitting in their original mud hut.
This story has often been used by the power elite as a warning that you should know your place in life and not wish for anything more, especially not anything beyond what is defined as human. From a spiritual perspective, it can be interpreted quite differently.
The first lesson is that a self’ quest for validation can never be satisfied by anything on earth. No matter the position, riches or honor you might achieve, it will still leave you feeling empty. The self might then come up with the idea that if you were made God, your emptiness would disappear, and this is indeed what some manipulators have believed. A separate self can never achieve this, and there will come a point where the separate self will take you into a downward spiral that ends with you creating your own private, inner hell.
Contrary to the story, the conscious self can indeed become God. This cannot happen by some external force bestowing this honor upon you. It cannot happen as long as you see God as being outside yourself. It can happen only when you begin to follow the call to seek the kingdom of God inside yourself. You can become God by becoming one with your higher self so you can say: “I and my Father are one.” At that moment you will have overcome all sense of emptiness and all desire for any kind of earthly honor or validation.
The subtleties of validation
Why does your higher self decide to send an extension of itself into a dense body on a planet like earth? Part of it is that the higher self wants to experience the material world from the inside. The higher self has a desire for experiencing what it is like to look at the world from inside a physical body.
The higher self is infinite. It can desire to experience the finite world but its desire is not infinite. There comes a point where the higher self has had enough of a certain experience and desires to move on. The question is whether the conscious self can move on with the higher self or whether it gets stuck in having a finite experience indefinitely.
The manipulators have cleverly used the desire to experience the material world in order to cause the conscious self to become stuck. One way is to create a subtle version of the validation game. This is a topic that very few spiritual people are aware of.
God has given you free will. You have the right to have any experience you want on earth. You even have a right to go into separation and have the experiences you can have only as a separate self. You will, of course, have to pay the price for any experience so that if you misqualify energy, you will have to requalify it and bring the material world back to balance. You have the right to have any experience you want until you have had enough of it and want more than the experience.
Even the higher self has the desire to experience the material world from the inside. The desire of the higher self is finite, meaning that after having a certain experience for a time, it will want to move on. As long as the conscious self is connected to the higher self, it will also have only a finite desire for any given experience and after some time it will be ready to move on.
The manipulators have no power over the higher self, but they can gain power over the conscious self if they can trick it into going into separation. The higher self does not desire to experience separation, but the conscious self can form this desire once it is inside a dense physical body/mind.
The conscious self can form a desire to experience a certain activity as a separate being, and once it desires to create such a separate self, it can become stuck in another closed loop. The separate self cannot be saturated by having any experience on earth. It is literally like a black hole that will want more of the experience and want to have it in ever-more intense ways. A separate self literally cannot get enough.
Of course, the conscious self can get enough, but the manipulators attempt to subvert this by creating a subtle version of the validation game. This game says that you will have had enough only when you have an ultimate experience or reach some kind of ultimate goal.
Take note of the subtle difference. You have a right to have any experience possible on earth. If your desire is pure, your only motivation for engaging in a certain activity is to experience what it is like to be doing this. You enjoy the activity, and once you have enjoyed its various facets to the point where you feel saturated, you simply move on.
The validation game adds another dimension. You are now no longer engaging in the activity in order to enjoy the experience but in order to gain some kind of validation by doing the activity. You are seeking to have some kind of ultimate or peak experience. You are seeking for some sense that by doing the activity a certain amount of times, with a certain intensity or better than other people, you feel validated.
What is the problem? Validation is an impossible quest because as a separate self you can never feel ultimately validated. If you seek ultimate validation through a particular activity, you will never feel saturated by the experience. No matter what you do, the separate self can always imagine something more intense so it will never be enough. Meaning that you will never be able to move on from a particular activity.
For most lifestreams, there is a set of human activities that they have to experience before they feel they have had the full range of human experiences and are ready to begin the spiritual path that leads to the ascension. If you get stuck in one particular activity, how can you ever start the spiritual path?
There is a difference between doing an act in order to enjoy the experience and then the sense of gaining some kind of validation from having done the experience to a certain degree based on some relative standard. Are you doing it in order to enjoy doing it or in order to enjoy having done it?
Let us try to make this less abstract by using sexuality as an example. After all, human sexuality is one among the range of experiences that all lifestreams need to have before they are ready to enter the path to the ascension. It is also one of the more difficult aspects of the human experience to deal with.
In a distant past, it was not necessary with physical intercourse in order to produce offspring. For a very long time, matter on planet earth has been so dense that the only way to produce new physical bodies was for a man and a woman to have sexual intercourse. It has for a long time been possible for beings to have a desire to experience sex. From a higher perspective, there is nothing wrong or sinful in having a desire to experience sex, as long as it is seen as any other activity you can do with a physical body.
The entire overlay of guilt, shame or sinfulness related to sex was produced by the manipulators and not in any way by the ascended masters. From a higher perspective, enjoying sex is the same as enjoying a good meal, building something with your hands or producing a work of art. It is simply one among other human activities that you enjoy until you reach saturation and move on.
Consider the scenario of a new lifestream that takes embodiment on earth for the first time. In the beginning, it will have to get used to how the physical body works. No matter how well you think you are prepared before you first take embodiment, the density of a physical body will surprise you and will take some getting used to.
In the beginning, the new lifestream will typically let the physical body regulate its desire for sex. It might not be too critical about selecting a partner, leaving it up to availability and it might not even enjoy sex, engaging in it as a purely physical activity. There is a physical pressure and it is a matter of relieving it, as you get over hunger by eating. Many human beings on earth are still at that stage.
The next stage is where the lifestream realizes that every activity you can do with a physical body has a psychological component. You can perform an activity in a mechanical way or in such a way that it gives you psychological enjoyment and fulfillment.
The lifestream now enters a stage where it becomes focused on having sex for the purpose of producing a certain state of mind. This is, of course, still focused on its own gratification. Although sex, mostly, involves a partner, the person is having sex for the sake of its own enjoyment. Again, many people are still working through this stage.
The next stage is where the lifestream begins to realize that sex really is an activity that involves two people. It now begins to focus more on giving its partner the greatest sense of enjoyment, eventually realizing that only by satisfying your partner do you personally get the greatest enjoyment. This is where a person starts being more discriminative about its sexual partners, often voluntarily limiting the number of sexual partners. This is where people begin to realize that sexual enjoyment can reach a higher level when it is combined with a genuine sense of love for your partner.
The next stage is where a lifestream begins to realize that any physical activity can have a spiritual component. In terms of sex, it is an activity that can help two people experience a sense of oneness with each other, which can be very valuable in terms of helping each of them overcome the identification with their individual selves, even their separate selves.
This can then help people realize that sex is not simply a matter of feeling physically attracted and not even of being emotionally attracted. Beyond being in love, there can be a deeper sense of spiritual connection and a sense of having a spiritual purpose for being together. A man and a woman can then engage in sex for the purpose of increasing their sense of spiritual union and even to help each person experience glimpses of union with its higher self.
After having been through this stage, people then realize that even though sex can give you a transcendent experience of oneness with Spirit, the experience is really produced in the mind. You can learn to have that experience without having physical intercourse, and this is the natural next stage on the path. At this point, partners may decide no longer to have sexual intercourse, or they may decide to continue it because it strengthens their sense of unity or because they still enjoy it. When you reach this stage, whether you have sex or not is inconsequential for your spiritual growth.
The impure overlay
What is outlined here is what one might call the pure scenario, meaning that it is not affected by the duality consciousness. What the duality consciousness does is that it creates a dualistic view of sex. Sex is no longer seen as an activity that you do for the pure enjoyment of it; it is given an overlay.
In one polarity, sex is seen as wrong, sinful or anti-spiritual. In the other extreme, sex is seen as a way to get validation by having done it a certain amount of times, with as many partners as possible and any number of other comparative measures. You either see sex as wrong and either don’t do it or try not to enjoy doing it. Or you see sex as a way to get validation, meaning you also don’t enjoy doing it but only enjoy the sense that having done it gives you.
The effect of this scenario is that people get stuck. They get stuck whether they force themselves to abstain from sex or whether they use it to seek validation. What is the natural or pure scenario? It is that you engage in a human activity and gradually take your enjoyment of it to higher, more refined levels until you have explored all facets of the experience and feel saturated.
The subtle conclusion is that sex is a natural human desire, a natural human activity. You will not be ready to ascend until you reach the saturation point and feel you are done with sex. If you force yourself to abstain from sex – often because you feel it is dirty or anti-spiritual – how will you ever move through the stages of refining it until you reach saturation?
It is perfectly true that sex can be a very dirty activity, yet this is not an inevitable quality of sex but a consequence of the duality consciousness. The consciousness of separation perverts everything and drags it down into the mud. Separation always has two opposite polarities.
You will never escape separation by going into one polarity and seeking to destroy or get away from the other. You will escape separation only by transcending both dualities so you can engage in an activity with a pure and innocent state of mind, until you have enjoyed the activity fully and can truly move on because there is nothing left you want to experience.
Of course, seeking to use sex for validation will also cause you to get stuck. You are now engaging in sex for the sake of having done it. This makes you vulnerable to having sex be the main activity that sucks you into any or all of the various game of the selves. For example, some people are seeking a sense of power through sex.
In the extreme case this can lead to a man becoming a serial rapist or a woman seeking to seduce any man she comes across. It is a pursuit of having the feeling that you can sexually conquer anyone. Of course, sex can also be the entry point into the competition games of seeking to conquer as many people as possible.
Or it can lead to the quest for some kind of peak experience where you have sex with the ultimate partner or have it under special circumstances. Seeking a peak experience will never satisfy you. It will always leave you empty, and your selves will always come up with a new carrot dangling in front of your nose—until the conscious self awakens and decides that it has had enough of being on the selves’ treadmill.
The serpentine logic
Some manipulators will take what is said here and dis-interpret it in various ways. One way is that they will say: “Well, you are saying that God has given us free will and allows us to have any experience we want on earth. What’s wrong with having the experience that we want validation or an ultimate experience? We are simply having one of the experiences that are possible on earth so why are you calling us manipulators and saying we are wrong for doing this?”
The response is that this is not saying there is anything wrong with having this or any other experience possible on earth. Nor is it saying that certain beings (embodied and disembodied) should not be doing what they are doing. The role of higher awareness is to represent the universal Christ consciousness to all people on earth.
Precisely because of free will, higher awareness can only help people when they are open to the Christ consciousness, when they have ears to hear. There are some people on earth who are simply not open to higher awareness. Higher awareness not in the least concerned with helping such beings. The law of God has set up the School of Hard Knocks so that these people continue to make the knocks harder and harder until they simply can’t stand it anymore. Then, when they decide they don’t know everything, higher awareness can start helping them.
The purpose for giving these teachings is to help those who have not deliberately entered the duality consciousness but who have been ensnared by it. The law of God gives you the right to try to set yourself up as the almighty ruler of other people. If they allow you to do this and decide to follow you, everyone is simply having the experience they want.
The manipulators have never been content with getting people to follow them out of a free choice. They have always used the subtleties of the dualistic mind to deceive people. The role of higher awareness is to simply offer people the truth that can set them free from the serpentine deception—if they are willing to leave their nets and follow Christ.
There are many people on earth who have already come to the point of wanting to move higher, of wanting to find an alternative to the human struggle. Because they have been ensnared by the many serpentine lies, they cannot see how. This is a violation of free will. They want to do better but they cannot and are trapped. In a higher sense, the manipulators have a right to try to deceive people, but they do not have the right to do this without people having been given an alternative by a representative of the Christ mind.
In the natural or pure scenario, a lifestream will engage in a certain activity for the enjoyment of experiencing the activity itself. As long as you are in this scenario, you are getting the enjoyment of the experience, and given that you are an infinite being, you will eventually have had enough of any finite activity. You can never be stuck in a certain activity. You are on a track, and it is only a matter of time before you feel saturated.
What the manipulators have done is to create a number of games that block you from having the actual enjoyment of any activity. Instead, they seek to get you to strive for a vicarious experience, a substitute for the real thing.
One example is the validation game where you instead of enjoying sex, enjoy having conquered so many different sexual partners. The problem here is that this is not a real enjoyment because it can never be filled. You will never have an ultimate sexual experience because the selves can always define another ultimate experience that is just beyond your reach.
The natural scenario is that you have actual enjoyment and that you constantly work towards saturation. In the dualistic scenario, you never have actual enjoyment, you have the promise of an ultimate experience that never comes. When you have one peak experience, they simply move the goal post and you are still unfulfilled.
In this scenario you are not on a track towards saturation. You are in a downward spiral that causes you to expend more and more energy – it takes more and more energy to have a more and more intense experience – while still feeling empty, often feeling more and more empty.
In the manipulated scenario, you can never be fulfilled. You can awaken only by realizing what is happening, seeing the utter vanity of it and then deciding to simply stop playing the game. It is not a matter of winning the ultimate prize; it is a matter of walking away from the game.
In the natural scenario, you get positive experiences until you feel saturated. In the manipulated scenario you never gain positive experiences, or you gain them only for a short time. You never feel saturated but always feel like there must be more. There is no way to stop the downward spiral until you see the futility of it and simply walk away. Your selves and the manipulators will do anything in their power to stop you from walking away from a certain game, and their primary tool is the dramas, which will be described in the next section.
You do have a right to have any experience you want for as long as you want. If you feel you want something more than what you have been doing so far, then the way out is to see through the game of the selves and come to the point where you can stop playing. The real purpose for life on earth is to raise your consciousness. You can raise your consciousness by engaging in sex. This can happen by raising your approach to it and eventually reaching saturation. Each time you step up to a higher approach, you raise your consciousness.
The validation game, or any of the other games, will not raise your consciousness until you abandon it. Again, you have the right to engage in sex in order to seek validation. The long-term question is how easy it is to get out of an activity or approach once you have had enough of it. The dualistic games make it so much harder to break free of a pattern even though you have had enough of it.
There is only one way to get ultimate validation, and that is to be who you are. You already are who you are, you are who you were created you to be. The manipulators want you to think that what God created isn’t worthy of validation and you need to live up to a standard they have defined. You need to turn yourself into something different from what God created, something the manipulators have defined.
You will not enter the kingdom until you become as a little child and innocently focus on being who you are without trying to live up to any standard on earth. Only the being who descended from heaven can ascend back to heaven.